This discussion is Beehive CEO's - monthly column as found on the last page of Americas Network magazine. They have been printing his letters for nearly 20 years. This column will remain posted till he writes the next one. The Last Word..                                                January 1998 Gravy trains How many taxes do you collect for others? One economist said its is reasonable for mandated programs to be loaded on telecom users. For each dollar of competitive savings, the same amounts should be available for social welfare stuff.   The United States Telephone Association (USTA) held its hundredth anniversary gala celebration. Industry "old timers" were present. Great things were in the offering. I thought maybe the 100th would be a grand time for the board to invite all the "new" telephone companies to join. Not one peep. The reception reminded me of how penguins herd back and forth as they shuffle thither and yon. The talking-head technical sessions elicited a cogent comment; the National Carrier Exchange Association (NECA) technical session (held the prior week in Las Vegas) had the "soul" of the (attendees). Which was not observed in Chicago. I regret to think that the gala did not seem to have much purpose other than to schmooze and try to have some fun. TAX AND SPEND We telcos are fat cows. Moreover, we're cash cows. There are seven taxes each month that I collect for others: The $3.50 or $6 Federal Communications commission (FCC) mandate is also a line item, but we keep that. Eighteen cents to pay for the deaf network. Federal and state sales taxes account for 9% of the bill A half cent per minute on state toll to fund Utah's $2 million - plus Universal Service Fund (USF) The 911 network costs 50 cents per month. As I understand it, the dough to pay for the school and library network. Health care network can cost up to two-and-a-half cents per minute on toll. One economist said it is reasonable for mandated programs to be loaded on telecom users. For each dollar of competitive savings, the same amounts should be available for social welfare stuff. So half of all amounts paid by customers for telecom would go to social welfare. We're getting there. WHO IS ELIGIBLE? In addition to the social mandates aforementioned (that's lawyer talk) policy, the Telecommunications Act says that for us telcos to get paid for providing specialized network stuff, we have to be designated and eligible telecommunications carriers. The easy way to accomplish this was for the several states to send a letter to the new, federally mandated agency, affirming which service providers in their state are eligible to receive continued USF and payment for providing non-compensatory service for schools, libraries and health care. As this is written, most consultants and Public Service Commission (PSC) staff were humping to get the required documents signed and delivered. All eligible rural companies in Utah listed their joint specifications on three pages. That commission will approve it by a single December order naming all the eligible carriers. SIT ON IT On the other hand, my separate Nevada company has a problem. It has 11 years of corporate Nevada operations. Three exchanges. Tax returns. Bank accounts. NECA payments. FCC tariffs. No certificate. Administrative oversight. To qualify as a designated carrier, my Nevada company filed with the Nevada PSC (NPSC) to correct the oversight with a certificate order in April 1997. That's being sat on. If they don't do anything, we stand to not get paid $7,500 per month from NECA in USF plus other payments for Schools and Libraries Corporation (SLC) and health care. I question how professional it is to put us at risk this way. My curiosity got their engineer so mad, he hung up on me when I called to ask how he spelled his last name. Jeez, enough already. HO HO HO But wait, I forgot that this is the season of giving, isn't it? As of press time the FCC says we're supposed to be designated as an eligible carrier by Christmas -- a merry prospect. I'm told if the state doesn't designate, it may have to cough up the dough to pay us out of its own USF. Sure . . . Stay tuned . **   Copyright 1998 by A. W. Brothers and Americas Network magazine. All rights reserved. © 1997, 1998, 1999 Beehive Telephone Co.